Communication Articles

BLISSFUL IGNORANCE?

by Randi Agenbroad

Work. Work is one of the few places in which people of different ages, education levels, cultures, religions and racial backgrounds are placed together for significant periods of time. For at least 40 hours each week this broad array of people and personalities come together to pursue collective success under stringent deadlines. Conflict and stress abounds. Accordingly, it is no surprise that Human Resource departments are mired dealing with personnel issues, that companies face productivity shortfalls and that “teamwork” often devolves into warfare.

Most people believe they are “nice” and therefore assume they won’t have difficulties working with others. When an issue does arise, people are quick to conclude that the other person is to blame. We are all guilty of complaining to a friend or significant other about “Mr. X” who is impossible to work with because they are “[blank].” We should stop to consider that perhaps Mr. X’s way of doing things isn’t necessarily wrong, just different.

Getting along with people who are different than us is not something that happens naturally. We spend the majority of our time with friends; people who most frequently are quite similar to us. Work is just the opposite, placing us in frequent, stressful and close contact with people who come from different backgrounds. Even the “nicest” people are unaccustomed to this dynamic and are totally unprepared to navigate its pitfalls successfully.

Every individual has a unique personality and characteristics. However our age, gender, religion and cultural background -- our “kin-groups” -- help to define who we are. Kin-groups can provide general insights to who we are. Educating employees on kin-groups and their characteristics can decrease workplace conflicts. Specifically, providing people with general information about cultural norms, gender communication styles, religious principles, and other kin-group traits can decrease the number of employee disputes and increase collaborative work.

For example, at a teambuilding seminar that I was conducting, a woman named “Betty” stated that she had a difficult time working with her all-male team because they were sexist. She stated that frequently when she brought up an idea, her male team members didn’t take her seriously, and failed to even give her eye contact. However, this issue probably could have been avoided had Betty known one of the major differences between male and female communication is that females look at someone in the eye --- times more frequently than men. These men probably were not sexist, but simply had a different communication style.

Another person that I encountered during one of my trainings, Kumar, was annoyed because his cubicle-mate, Tyrone, teased him about being a “picky” eater. Kumar wouldn’t eat the sandwiches at company meetings. As a fundamental Muslim and hence a vegetarian, Kumar couldn’t eat the variety of meat sandwiches that were offered. Tyrone certainly wasn’t trying to offend Kumar. What he simply meant to be light teasing was received as bigoted behavior.

Incidents such as the ones with Betsy and Kumar happen daily; simple misunderstandings that are perceived as intolerance, racism or sexism. Indeed most of us have probably, albeit unintentionally, offended someone at work.

Notwithstanding our offenses, most of us are indeed nice people. Yet most of us are also ignorant to different cultures. Accordingly, misunderstandings occur; feelings get hurt; and work teams are fractured. It is striking that most people will take the time to learn about a different culture before taking a vacation to another country, but fail to make the same effort to learn about the different cultures present at the place we spend most of our waking hours: work.